Ladies, it’s time for a little dose of truth, honesty and reality. I hear these stories all the time. Tales of these mythical creatures you refer to as your “side guy”. You know that guy: the one you claim to have that you only call on to satisfy you sexually; that boy toy whose sole purpose, you claim, is to be used for superficial reason. I’m sorry to tell you that these guys you call your ‘side guy’ are simply figments of your imagination. Most of you know that, but that doesn’t stop you from lying to yourself about it.
“Cue The Rant!”
Just like there has never been a man who met a beautiful wonderful woman and said “hey, you know I think I just want to be her friend!“, there has never been a woman in the history of ever that said “hey, you know what, I just want to have meaningless sex with him and then throw him away when I’m done!” Ladies, stop trying to be men. Men and women aren’t made the same way.
This guy you call your “boy toy” or side guy didn’t start off as such. Initially, you liked him and thought he was suitable to start dating, but for whatever reason, “he wasn’t ready for anything serious” or some other dumb excuse he made up. Still, you kept talking to him and eventually you ended up sleeping with him and he’s been around ever since.
Over time, you convinced yourself that you were using him to make yourself feel better about the situation, but really, he has been using you. Over more time, he’ll help you think that way because he knows he gets to keep having sex with you as long as you think you are the one in control.
Oh, I know the next thing you are going to say: “I really don’t care for him, I’m just using him, he’s the one that always begs me for us to be more than what we are!”
There are two points I want to make about that statement. First of all, he’s lying. The worst thing you can ever do to a man is attempt to or actually emasculate him (make him feel like less of a man). The worst thing you can ever do to a woman is make her feel like less of a woman (i.e.- make her feel like a hoe). We men know and understand that in order to keep our position as your “side guy,” we have to act like we care. That’s the only way we get to keep you around. If we could get away with acting like we really wanted to act (i.e. like we didn’t care) we would lose you. We know we have to keep the facade up of wanting more and liking you way more than we really do.
The second point is your logic is flawed. Why would this guy be clamoring to get with you and make you his woman when you are clearly demonstrating that you aren’t girlfriend material (you’re cheating on your boyfriend with him). All these stories about these guys begging you not to leave or throw him away or him wanting you to be his woman need to be reevaluated. Ask yourself, “Is he begging and clinging on to you– or to what’s between your legs?”
Ladies, you all don’t engage in a physical relationship without some kind of emotional connection. I can see right through you when you’re actively trying to dismiss the emotional connection you have with the guy in order for you to seem like you are in control. Men and women view sex very differently and whenever I see a women claiming she has a guy friend she’s using only for sex, I immediately know the real story. Ladies, you relinquish your control and power once you lay down with a guy. That’s why you should be more selective when you choose to hook up with someone.
That’s it for this week. Happy Friday folks! Don’t forget to cue The Sir Charles!