Living single can be tough in today’s society, especially after college. It seems there is always an aunt, grandmother, or distant cousin asking “Where is your man?” or “You still single!?” And then there’s the infamous “You’re too pretty to be single!” Awkward or nahhhh?! Lol
People automatically assume you’re lonely because you’re not in a relationship. But I only feel lonely when someone reminds me I’m too pretty to be single every 5 minutes.
It’s normal for everyone to feel lonely sometimes. It’s a human emotion. BUT there are some who are living lonely and single. If so, it’s definitely time to make some changes.
Number 1: Mingle!
Get out of the house! Socialize! The word single is a word to describe your relationship status, not how you spend your life. Meet new people. Spend times with friends, heck that’s what friends are for. While your heart is healing don’t neglect the rest of you. Find a new hobby, volunteer, try new things, and take some risks. Only singles who sulk stay lonely. But make sure to get some single friends. I’m not saying you have to ditch your married or taken friends but be sure to mix it up. Single people like to do single people things. Plus that might reduce the “You’re too pretty to be single” statements.
Number 2: Don’t feel sorry for yourself.
You are experiencing life’s obstacles without a significant other and you are winning! Life is tough it will toss you around, knock you down, and even spit on you. Yet, you are still here. I know it can be tiring at times and it would be nice to come home to someone who’s cooked dinner for you BUT you are getting through without that. Some people can’t.
Number 3: Some people are meant to be single.
So, relationships are not for you. That’s okay. There is no law saying you have to be in a relationship. Not even the bible says it’s mandatory. (1 Corinthians Chapter 7. Now before you start hooping and hollering, read that chapter first if you disagree. Marriage is optional, but if you choose not to then… I’ll let you read it for yourself.) You don’t have to be in a relationship and you don’t have to explain your reasons to anyone if that is what you want. Your loved ones will respect your decision.
Number 4: Own the fact that you are not ready for a relationship.
This technique is not an excuse if it’s the truth. You need to know where you are in your single episode. Are you recently single? Are you still healing from past pains? Are you too busy? Are you bitter? If you can answer yes to any of those questions you should probably use this alone time to figure things out. Nobody wants a confused significant other. Sometimes we need to take a break from being a “we” to focus on the “me”.
Number 5: Date
If you think you’re ready for a relationship, date. For those of you who don’t know, a date is an arranged appointment with someone in the hopes of learning about one another. That’s it! Don’t over think first, second, third, or fourth dates. If he likes you he will call. If you don’t like him let him know and move on. Life is about trial and error. (If you can’t find dates, that’s another subject for another post.)
With all of that being said, loneliness happens to us all whether we are single or in a relationship. It’s not the end of the world if you are single, it is just the stage of life you’re in. Whatever you do, DO NOT rush into a relationship just because you’re “lonely.” Honestly, I would rather be lonely while I’m single than in a relationship, I’m just saying.