When people know better they do better.
It’s that simple.
So when you see people doing things that you find inexplicable, remember that we all were not brought up the same. Everyone has a different set of values or rules they grew up with or lived by. I’m not talking to those people. I’m talking about those of us who know better. Who might have come out of precarious circumstances but have sense enough to know what’s right. It’s up to us to break the cycle.
So your father wasn’t around. It’s definitely a big deal and has a huge barring on your life whether you know it or not and I’m definitely not downplaying it, but if you were still lucky enough to have others around you who picked up the slack to help raise you, you should make it your personal priority to change the way things happened with you. And that means ensuring that you provide your children with what you didn’t have to prevent the cycle from starting again. So mothers and fathers, stick around. It makes a difference.
Stopping the cycle also applies to relationships. We’ve all been hurt before when it comes to relationships, but that’s not a reason to put your significant other through the pain that your ex caused you. Complicated subjects like trust issues are brought over from past relationships and experiences. If you current boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t actually GIVEN you a reason not to trust him or her then it’s simply unfair for you not to trust them. It isn’t their fault. It’s yours. If you make them pay, the only thing it’s going to do is pass that negativity right along after they get rid of you.
You can also stop the cycle when it comes to interactions with people and in everyday life. Don’t judge me, but as a sort of social experiment maybe 6 months ago I decided I was going to be super nice to people for a few weeks to see how things turned out. One of the reasons I decided to do this was because people constantly used tell me I looked mean. I really didn’t understand why they thought that because I was truly just walking around with my regular face on. But apparently I looked menacing so I decided to change it up. And low and behold I was genuinely shocked at how people were so much nicer and receptive to a super positive attitude, even if they started the encounter with me in a foul mood. My great mood rubbed off on them and made the interaction so much better.
I said all that to say this. When you know better, it’s our responsibility to do better. You’ve heard the phrase “God takes care of fools and babies”… Well that’s because they don’t know any better. So think before you act. Think about how you interactions with others can impact not only your day but also their day. Stop making your current pay for ex’s mistakes. Stop leaving your children to be cared for by others because you don’t think your fit. They need you. Stop the cycle. If you don’t stop the cycle, it will become an endless cycle of perpetuating negativity. It takes just a small bit of effort and personal responsibility.
That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.