Movie Theatre Etiqeutte


RoderickCaricatureJessica keeps telling me I’ve been way too nice lately…and I can see where she’s coming from. I have been holding back a bit, trying to conserve feelings and not letting loose.

Well I can’t do it anymore.

I’ve been afforded this platform to rant about whatever my heart sees fit to rant about, no matter how small. And I’ve been given this platform mainly because people find me entertaining when I’m pissed off. So it’s time for me to go back to being pissed off. You people who helped ruined my Sunday last week are about to get this work!

Cue the Rant

Here’s a little fact about me. Sunday is my day. My day of relaxation and rest. I don’t like to work on Sundays at all, I look forward to it all week. I sleep in, eat what I want, and lounge around simply enjoying doing nothing. It’s truly a glorious thing. And every Sunday after lunch, I love to go to the movies to check out the new release for the week (I’m an avid moviegoer, I go every weekend almost).

This past weekend, I wasn’t able to go in the afternoon, so I went that evening, and I must say, I’ll never do it again.

I checked out “The Butler” at the local theater here. It was full house. Don’t ask me how the movie was. I really didn’t get a chance to enjoy it because of, you guessed it, the folks in the theater. These had to be THE most IGNORANT, the most simple minded and the STUPIDEST group of movie goers I’ve ever witnessed. These people would not shut up with the wannabe funny snide remarks though out the whole movie. And the rest of them couldn’t stop laughing at the dumbass remarks others were making. They were those people who liked to talk back to the movie like it’s having a conversation with them. And I know you’ve all witnessed this or have probably been the asshole in the theater begging for attention...totally messed up my experience.

I was watching a civil rights movie and I still couldn’t bring myself to feel sorry for these ignorant black people. The lights were off so they couldn’t see me giving them the stare down of death after every stupid remark or comment. And what made it worse is that they were OLD and ignorant. In this world there is nothing worse than an old AND ignorant person. If you that old you are supposed to know better by now. You’re 50 acting 16?! And was the hand clapping and praising really necessary at the end when you found out Barack Obama won the presidency, like you didn’t know he’s done that TWICE now in REAL LIFE?!

I expect stupid ignorant people when I’m going to see a scary movie on a Saturday night because there’s nothing but kids out and I already know they’re stupid. That’s why I don’t go to the movies then.

But to you old ladies and other idiots in the movie theater, you better be lucky I wouldn’t recognize you out in public cause you’d have some problems, trust me. And please believe when the movie was over, I put on my own show and acted a fool walking out of the theater. While they were taking their time with their bad knees and canes walking out of the theater I made sure they heard me complaining as we walked down the stairs. And it went a little something like this:

*while turned back talking to my sister in a loud voice*

“I can’t believe these ignant a** n****s acted such a fool in this f******g movie theater! F****d up the whole movie, wouldn’t shut up like they’re 17 or something! I can’t stand these folks, I mean really! You gotta be kidding me!”

Undoubtedly everyone around me looked in my direction at their own discretion but continued to lull down the stairs like they didn’t hear me or like I wasn’t talking about them. But I know they heard me and I know they thought about it later.

For their own good, I hope they took my complaints as constructive criticism and will apply it next time they drag their raggedy behind out to the movies. Because I know if I ever go to a movie and ever have to go through that again, I’m not going to get a manager or talk it out. Somebody is getting slapped.

That’s it for this week.

Let me gone and cut this Sir Charles on before I flip out again.

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